"Dealing with Anger"

Tigers Christian Club -- Lesson for Wednesday, January 9, 2018
Adapted from “Dealing with Anger” from Kids Honor Club from Biblical Parenting

Song: “He’s Got the Whole World In His Hands” -- I have been thinking about how the members of our group come from all over the world, or have grandparents or ancestors who came from all over the world.  We have heritage in but exclusively in: Korea, Iran, Eritrea, United Kingdom, Sweden, Costa Rica, Mexico, Alabama and other parts of the United States. And God has us all in his hands.

Intro and follow-up questions: We’ve been talking about what honor means and how we can show honor to our families.  Honor means treating people as special. It also means doing more than what’s expected and having a good attitude.  Did you find ways to treat others as special over winter break? Did anyone treat you as special?

Today we are going to talk about anger and how we can honor others by keeping our anger under control and by acting as peacemakers.

Demo: Today we are going to build a small volcano to demonstrate how anger can erupt and spill all over.  Pour ⅓ cup vinegar into a clear cup.  (Bring plate, glass, vinegar, baking soda, measuring cup and tablespoon.)

“Let’s say this cup of vinegar is a person who gets easily irritated.  Whenever he doesn’t get what he wants, he gets angry. Or whenever Mom says “no”, he becomes mean.  Talk about how bad it smells. When someone is angry, others can tell.

How can you tell that anger is growing?  What might you see on someone’s face or hear in their voice?  You might notice:

• Clenched fists or teeth
• Breathing faster or more obviously
• Frowning
• Furrowed forehead
• Raised shoulders
• Squinting eyes or wide eyes
• Louder voice or higher voice
• Short comments that could hurt others

When someone is getting angry you might notice some of these changes -- just like we can notice the bad smell of the vinegar.  Now let’s add something to the cup and see what happens. When Mom says “no” or Dad asks him to do something, then this happens.”  Add 1 Tbsp baking soda.

What happened?  What does it look like when anger erupts and spills out all over?

Okay, now, “everyone close your eyes for just a moment.  I’m going to start a sentence and I want you to finish it.  See if you can think of an answer:

“One thing that makes me angry is ______________.”

“One time I got really angry was ______________.”

Now open your eyes.  Would anyone like to raise their hand to share what makes them angry?

The Bible has a lot to say on controlling anger and how to be a peacemaker.

James 1:19 says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

How can we do this?

• Take a deep breath
• Take a break
• Talk about the problem
• Get help
• Slow down and persevere -- which means to step back and adjust your expectations, then proceed calmly

Now that’s a good start to controlling our anger.  But the Bible wants us to do something after that.

Matthew 5:9 says, “Blessed are the peacemakers.”

What does it mean to be a peacemaker?  I’m going to give you each a necklace that says “I am a peacemaker.”  The string is olive green because olive green is the color of peace. Does anyone know why?  Who remembers the story of Noah? And the dove that brought an olive branch to show that it was okay to leave the ark?  God had made peace with the world.

Some of you have words written on the backs of your necklaces.  Can you read those and share what a peacemaker does?

A peacemaker:

• Manages his or her own anger
• Sees the anger in others before they react and then helps to bring peace
• Looks for things in common, not differences
• Seeks to bring people together in agreement
• Looks for solutions where everyone wins
• Thinks of the needs of others
• Tries to make everyone feel good
• Honors others and brings joy into the family

I want to read you a Bible story today about some brothers who were very angry with each other but how in the end, they learned to be peacemakers.

Story: “The Forgiving Prince” from the Jesus Storybook Bible, p. 76-83, adapted from the story of Joseph and his brothers found in Genesis, chapters 37-46.

Who was angry in this story?  Joseph’s brothers.

Could you see their anger growing?  How could you tell? First, we learn the brothers are jealous of Joseph’s robe -- maybe we could say they are frustrated.  Then, after they hear Joseph’s dreams, it says the brothers hated him and wanted to kill him. That sounds like a volcano boiling over!

How did the brothers react to their anger?  They tore Joseph’s robe and sold him.

After Joseph was made a prince in Egypt and saw his brothers again, how did he choose to be a peacemaker?  He loved them.  He forgave them.  He rescued them by bringing them to Egypt where there was more food to eat.

Bible verse:  Proverbs 29:11 says, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”  Can you say that with me? That means that a wise man looks for solutions to manage anger.

Closing:  Let’s review now what we’ve learned today.

Do you remember what the volcano showed us?  It shows us that letting your anger boil over creates a big mess and can hurt others.

If we can control our own anger, we can become peacemakers.  How can we control our anger?

• Talk about it
• Get help
• Slow down and persevere

How does a peacemaker help?  A peacemaker:

• Helps others deal with their anger
• Looks for ways to help other people who are upset
• Sometimes leaves an angry person alone so that they don’t get more provoked and angry (aka: gives them space to take a break and calm down)

Prayer:  Dear God, Teach us how to manage our own anger.  Please help us to see anger in others and know how to help.  Thank you for forgiving us and loving us even when we do the wrong things.  Amen.

Create an Anger Thermometer:  When I think of anger heating up and getting worse and worse, I think of a thermometer, which is a tool that measures heat.  Your mom might use a thermometer to check whether or not you have a fever. And you can use this thermometer to help you manage your anger.

This thermometer has three levels on it to describe anger as it gets worse and worse, representing frustration, anger and rage.  When we notice we are angry the stop sign reminds us to pause and take a breath. The green circles give us ideas of how to respond to the anger, responses like “talk about it”, “get help” and “slow down and persevere”.  One way to slow down is to pray. Find a quiet spot and talk to God about your anger, and ask him to help you solve the problem.

Pass out cardstock with thermometer on it.  Instruct kids to paste red “Stop” signs and green “Solution” circles onto the paper.  Then, thread a loop of red ribbon through the slit at the base of the thermometer. Thread a safety pin through the side slits of the thermometer and the top loop of the ribbon.  Use the safety pin to make the temperature rise. Then talk about what to do when you are feeling “frustration”, “anger” and “rage”.

Word Search/Create your own cartoon:  Use the paper provided to complete a word search.  On the other side, design your own cartoon. Draw a picture of a time when you felt angry.  Then draw what you could do to be a peacemaker in that situation.

Parting on the rug: Pass out Dove heart chocolates to remind us to love others and be peacemakers.