Now it’s just a Christmas card

Sometime in college, I found myself missing all sorts of friends from throughout my life, including ones I made in college and then didn’t see much as schedules and focuses changed.  I tried to tell myself I was lucky to have known them at all, whether they were still present in my life or not.  I wrote down my thoughts on this and put it to music and ended up with a song about friendship and how sometimes the only thing left is an annual Christmas card.

I hadn’t mailed Christmas cards in a few years, but since it seemed important to also announce our new address, I got my act together, albeit reluctantly.  Reluctantly because as I made my list, I felt the pain of missing all of the people on it.  Christmas cards are nice and all, but wouldn’t it be better if we could walk down the street and grab a cup of coffee together?  I sort of felt like I was being asked to accept a consolation prize.

I debated how many cards to order.  So many consolation prizes.  So many people to keep up with, to check in on, who I would never again see on a daily basis.

And then I got a Christmas card in the mail from a friend.  Someone I hadn’t talked to in years.  And I was so touched that she still thought to remember me.

And then I got a text from a friend saying that a boy we knew in high school had just passed away from cancer, leaving behind his wife and three kids, and couldn’t we get together soon?

I told my friend yes and then located my address book and got to work.  I found the name and college address of that boy from high school.  I hadn’t known him that well, but there he was, right in my book, a name preserved in time for over twenty years.  I found old addresses, ones I knew were out of date and ones I took a chance with and later learned were beyond the limits of mail-forwarding.

I addressed 99 envelopes.  Many times, I started to write our old address in the return section and would have to scratch it out and start over.  This reminded me of how about a year after I got married I accidentally wrote my maiden name when signing a credit card receipt.  It was like I had been incredibly vigilant for a year after changing my name but as soon as I let my guard down, I reverted to muscle memory.  It’s going to take a while to undo the muscle memory of 11 years at the same address as well.

Still, I felt better about the process as I wrote the names of my friends, even the ones I hadn’t seen in years, hadn’t talked to in years.  (If I missed you, I apologize.  Send me your address, and I’ll send you a card!)

It reminded me of something I did on my 40th birthday earlier this year: I made a list of the friends I was glad to have in my life.  I tried to think of a top 10.  Then, when I realized I had more names to write down, I tried to make it to 40.  Then, the list kept going.

I was glad to have known them for big and small reasons, for short and long amounts of time.  They were all important to me, and that was the whole point.  I emailed some of them.  And some of them will get a Christmas card.

In the end, I decided that the cards weren’t enough, but I was glad to give and receive them.  It was nice to be thought of.  It was nice to think of my friends, which reminded me of the song I wrote in college, the one that went like this:

Lucky Am I

When you live in a place for only three months at a time
When you find a new spot for an hour or so
So many faces to meet and always new smiles
I guess it’s only natural, some won’t last long

But how lucky am I
How incredibly lucky am I
To have known you
To have known you
And how lucky am I
How incredibly lucky am I
To have known you

Back then I saw your face several times a day
Or our weekly coffee date round the corner in town
But then you moved on from there and someone moved in
And now it’s just a Christmas card.  Guess I’ll talk to you next year

But how lucky am I
How incredibly lucky am I
To have known you
To have known you
And how lucky am I
How incredibly lucky am I
To have known you

For a short while 
For a long while
Forever and a day
For all of my life
For a short while 
For a long while
Forever and a day
For all of my life

How lucky am I to have known you….​